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Doctor Gerhard Von Schwarrazinhoffer
No one had ever interviewed Gerhard Von Schwarrazinhoffer before. I thought it was important for Frank’s page so I flew to Vienna to meet with the man who is arguably the biggest and the smallest man to ever compete in the European Championships, where he took seventh place just ahead of Sheaf Herrdressure.
Despite his unusual height of only 4’11”, he stood heads above other dressage trainers who, although perhaps better known than Herr Schwarrazinhoffer, lack his talent and intellect. I wanted to extract from his enormous brain all of the new techniques that had made him one of the most innovative and imitated trainers of his time only to have him abandon them entirely and return to the classical training system. The following is the transcript from that interview.
FRANK
Gerhard how long have you been involved with horses?
He hesitated for some time, it is obvious he wanted his answer to be extremely accurate. He mumbled to himself and then counted on his fingers.
GERHARD
Since I was five.
I was holding a small recorder in my hand. He watched with obvious interest as I spoke into it.
GERHARD
Is that, what you call a - I don't know the English word for it?
(beat)
A sprikeninzaboxzing?
FRANK
Oh you mean my Dictaphone?
(beat)
Yes, I can't read my own writing.
From time to time during the interview he would ask about this button or that button, and how long the tape would last. Finally when the interview was over, I took the tape out, and handed the recorder to Gerhard. He was pleased.
FRANK
Doctor Schwarrasinhoffer, how would you classify your training methods?
GERHARD
Now or when?
FRANK
Well, tell us how you started out.
GERHARD
Well, it’s not easy. Mostly, I just looked around, and I see what is doing other people with their horses, then I tried myself, and usually, not in the first time, but after a few horses, I made it.
FRANK
So if I understand correctly, your system didn't work on all horses.
He hesitated for a moment. Next to his chair was a small corncob pipe. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a wad of tobacco and stuffed his pipe.
GERHARD
Exactly
FRANK
What happened to the horses that couldn't take your training methods?
He seemed reluctant to answer my question. He was holding a wooden match. He lifted his leg and dragged the match along the back of it a few times until the match lit. He held the burning match as he answered.
GERHARD
I sold them to Americans who came here looking for Grand Prix horses.
FRANK
Were you the only trainer doing that?
Putting the match to his pipe he puffed on it until a great cloud of smoke billowed out of his mouth.
GERHARD
No, it's been the case since the end of the war when Americans came over here to bring our scientists back to your country to build rockets.
I fought off a smile, not sure if he intended to make a joke, or if he was deadly serious. He didn't show any signs of having a sense of humor, so I simply looked at my typed out notes, and went on to the next question.
FRANK
I don't mean to be indelicate, but as a small person, what size horses do you prefer?
His answer was almost a knee jerk reaction.
GERHARD
Eighteen hands or bigger.
Actually I wasn't surprised, I've seen videos of petite women aboard elephants in the jungles of Africa, so the picture was familiar.
FRANK
Are the smaller horses not capable of doing the higher level Dressage tests?
He laughed out loud, which did surprise me because I hadn't intended to make a joke. After all, as an observer, I see mostly huge horses with huge gates in competitions so I thought the answer was obvious, instead:
GERHARD
Oh no, not at all size doesn't matter in dressage, only in basketball.
FRANK
So then why the large horses?
GERHARD
Well it's because of the ribbons. If you want something you reward it, if you don't you tax it.
I certainly didn't expect him to say that. The next question I had written down was "What prevents the smaller horses from performing the movements as well as the bigger horses? It was then that I realized that being simply an observer and not a trainer, I had some misconceptions about this sport. So I decided to put my preplanned notes aside for the next few questions.
FRANK
So what you're saying is that the judges like to see the big horses because they naturally move bigger, is that it?
GERHARD
Exactly, what else?
Frankly I couldn't think of anything else, so I simply shrugged my shoulders, and thought about my next question.
FRANK
What size horse in your opinion is best for Dressage?
He looked over his reading glasses at me as if to say "do you really want to know?
GERHARD
For me, obviously a pony, but there are many small horses that can perform exactly correct.
FRANK
Small?
GERHARD
You would say fifteen or sixteen hands. Of course someone seven feet tall is nicht gut, or then give him roller-skates, nicht ist das wahr?
I laughed because of the obvious attempt at humor, and I sat back for the first time in my chair a bit more relaxed now that Doctor Schwarrasinhoffer seemed more accommodating and friendly.
I looked over my pre-prepared questions.
FRANK
Have you changed any of your training methods over the years?
GERHARD
Yes, very much.
FRANK
What are some of the things you used to do that you don't do now?
GERHARD
Well in the Piaffe, is one way I changed.
(beat)
I used to tap the horse with the rider on him to help lift the hind legs.
FRANK
I've seen some of that in the states. The trainer stands next to the horse and taps him behind the saddle or on the alternate legs.
(beat)
Is that what you're talking about.
He smiled widely.
GERHARD
Well for me it was not possible. Instead I stood under the horse and poked him in the underside with a bobby pin.
Then he laughed as if to show his awareness of the absurdity of the whole thing. I laughed along knowing that he would understand that I wasn't laughing at him but along with him. He was kidding of course about this, but I went along with the joke.
FRANK
So how did that work?
GERHARD
Well it didn't work at all. And I had to be very careful not to get stepped on.
(beat)
At least I wouldn't get kicked like so many amateurs who tried this method.
He obviously didn't approve of this method, but I continued the ruse just for the sport of it all, and asked the next absurd question.
FRANK
So you don't use the bobby pin anymore.
GERHARD
No I gave this up.
FRANK
What do you use now?
GERHARD
Well I don't use anything.
FRANK
Why is that?
GERHARD
Well, you can't go into the ring with the student carrying a bobby pin and standing under the horse to make him Piaffe, can you?
I just smiled, it was a rhetorical question and didn't require a verbal response, but he still had not answered my question; thought I didn't ask the question I should have, so I rephrased my interrogatory.
FRANK
What method are you using now?
He stopped smiling and with a thoughtful puff on his corncob pipe, answered:
GERHARD
Well the Piaffe should be the last thing to teach a horse. If the horse does not have the proper foundation, if he does not have sufficient muscle development of the hindquarters, if he has not yet learned collection and obedience, it is not possible to do a Piaffe that is proper.
FRANK
What do you mean by proper?
GERHARD
The horse needs to sit behind, and not bob up and down like a cork in the water.
(beat)
Haven't you ever seen a horse do a Piaffe heavy on the forehand?
I wanted to say yes, but then I'm not a rider or a trainer, so how could I presume to know what I'm looking at? Also I was talking to one of the greatest Dressage trainers in the world, and he didn't expected a reply from me. His question was pregnant with the suggestion that it would not be uncommon for me to have seen such a spectacle.
Indeed I had seen many horses Piaffing on the forehand, bobbing up an down behind like a cork in the water, but given the fact that the judges were giving eights to whatever it was I was seeing, who was I to disagree? I decided just to go on to my next question.
As a reporter I had been asking what would be considered to be "soft" questions. I decided to play hardball with the good doctor. I wanted answers to some really tough questions.
//Blev tvungen att korta ner...//
No one had ever interviewed Gerhard Von Schwarrazinhoffer before. I thought it was important for Frank’s page so I flew to Vienna to meet with the man who is arguably the biggest and the smallest man to ever compete in the European Championships, where he took seventh place just ahead of Sheaf Herrdressure.
Despite his unusual height of only 4’11”, he stood heads above other dressage trainers who, although perhaps better known than Herr Schwarrazinhoffer, lack his talent and intellect. I wanted to extract from his enormous brain all of the new techniques that had made him one of the most innovative and imitated trainers of his time only to have him abandon them entirely and return to the classical training system. The following is the transcript from that interview.
FRANK
Gerhard how long have you been involved with horses?
He hesitated for some time, it is obvious he wanted his answer to be extremely accurate. He mumbled to himself and then counted on his fingers.
GERHARD
Since I was five.
I was holding a small recorder in my hand. He watched with obvious interest as I spoke into it.
GERHARD
Is that, what you call a - I don't know the English word for it?
(beat)
A sprikeninzaboxzing?
FRANK
Oh you mean my Dictaphone?
(beat)
Yes, I can't read my own writing.
From time to time during the interview he would ask about this button or that button, and how long the tape would last. Finally when the interview was over, I took the tape out, and handed the recorder to Gerhard. He was pleased.
FRANK
Doctor Schwarrasinhoffer, how would you classify your training methods?
GERHARD
Now or when?
FRANK
Well, tell us how you started out.
GERHARD
Well, it’s not easy. Mostly, I just looked around, and I see what is doing other people with their horses, then I tried myself, and usually, not in the first time, but after a few horses, I made it.
FRANK
So if I understand correctly, your system didn't work on all horses.
He hesitated for a moment. Next to his chair was a small corncob pipe. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a wad of tobacco and stuffed his pipe.
GERHARD
Exactly
FRANK
What happened to the horses that couldn't take your training methods?
He seemed reluctant to answer my question. He was holding a wooden match. He lifted his leg and dragged the match along the back of it a few times until the match lit. He held the burning match as he answered.
GERHARD
I sold them to Americans who came here looking for Grand Prix horses.
FRANK
Were you the only trainer doing that?
Putting the match to his pipe he puffed on it until a great cloud of smoke billowed out of his mouth.
GERHARD
No, it's been the case since the end of the war when Americans came over here to bring our scientists back to your country to build rockets.
I fought off a smile, not sure if he intended to make a joke, or if he was deadly serious. He didn't show any signs of having a sense of humor, so I simply looked at my typed out notes, and went on to the next question.
FRANK
I don't mean to be indelicate, but as a small person, what size horses do you prefer?
His answer was almost a knee jerk reaction.
GERHARD
Eighteen hands or bigger.
Actually I wasn't surprised, I've seen videos of petite women aboard elephants in the jungles of Africa, so the picture was familiar.
FRANK
Are the smaller horses not capable of doing the higher level Dressage tests?
He laughed out loud, which did surprise me because I hadn't intended to make a joke. After all, as an observer, I see mostly huge horses with huge gates in competitions so I thought the answer was obvious, instead:
GERHARD
Oh no, not at all size doesn't matter in dressage, only in basketball.
FRANK
So then why the large horses?
GERHARD
Well it's because of the ribbons. If you want something you reward it, if you don't you tax it.
I certainly didn't expect him to say that. The next question I had written down was "What prevents the smaller horses from performing the movements as well as the bigger horses? It was then that I realized that being simply an observer and not a trainer, I had some misconceptions about this sport. So I decided to put my preplanned notes aside for the next few questions.
FRANK
So what you're saying is that the judges like to see the big horses because they naturally move bigger, is that it?
GERHARD
Exactly, what else?
Frankly I couldn't think of anything else, so I simply shrugged my shoulders, and thought about my next question.
FRANK
What size horse in your opinion is best for Dressage?
He looked over his reading glasses at me as if to say "do you really want to know?
GERHARD
For me, obviously a pony, but there are many small horses that can perform exactly correct.
FRANK
Small?
GERHARD
You would say fifteen or sixteen hands. Of course someone seven feet tall is nicht gut, or then give him roller-skates, nicht ist das wahr?
I laughed because of the obvious attempt at humor, and I sat back for the first time in my chair a bit more relaxed now that Doctor Schwarrasinhoffer seemed more accommodating and friendly.
I looked over my pre-prepared questions.
FRANK
Have you changed any of your training methods over the years?
GERHARD
Yes, very much.
FRANK
What are some of the things you used to do that you don't do now?
GERHARD
Well in the Piaffe, is one way I changed.
(beat)
I used to tap the horse with the rider on him to help lift the hind legs.
FRANK
I've seen some of that in the states. The trainer stands next to the horse and taps him behind the saddle or on the alternate legs.
(beat)
Is that what you're talking about.
He smiled widely.
GERHARD
Well for me it was not possible. Instead I stood under the horse and poked him in the underside with a bobby pin.
Then he laughed as if to show his awareness of the absurdity of the whole thing. I laughed along knowing that he would understand that I wasn't laughing at him but along with him. He was kidding of course about this, but I went along with the joke.
FRANK
So how did that work?
GERHARD
Well it didn't work at all. And I had to be very careful not to get stepped on.
(beat)
At least I wouldn't get kicked like so many amateurs who tried this method.
He obviously didn't approve of this method, but I continued the ruse just for the sport of it all, and asked the next absurd question.
FRANK
So you don't use the bobby pin anymore.
GERHARD
No I gave this up.
FRANK
What do you use now?
GERHARD
Well I don't use anything.
FRANK
Why is that?
GERHARD
Well, you can't go into the ring with the student carrying a bobby pin and standing under the horse to make him Piaffe, can you?
I just smiled, it was a rhetorical question and didn't require a verbal response, but he still had not answered my question; thought I didn't ask the question I should have, so I rephrased my interrogatory.
FRANK
What method are you using now?
He stopped smiling and with a thoughtful puff on his corncob pipe, answered:
GERHARD
Well the Piaffe should be the last thing to teach a horse. If the horse does not have the proper foundation, if he does not have sufficient muscle development of the hindquarters, if he has not yet learned collection and obedience, it is not possible to do a Piaffe that is proper.
FRANK
What do you mean by proper?
GERHARD
The horse needs to sit behind, and not bob up and down like a cork in the water.
(beat)
Haven't you ever seen a horse do a Piaffe heavy on the forehand?
I wanted to say yes, but then I'm not a rider or a trainer, so how could I presume to know what I'm looking at? Also I was talking to one of the greatest Dressage trainers in the world, and he didn't expected a reply from me. His question was pregnant with the suggestion that it would not be uncommon for me to have seen such a spectacle.
Indeed I had seen many horses Piaffing on the forehand, bobbing up an down behind like a cork in the water, but given the fact that the judges were giving eights to whatever it was I was seeing, who was I to disagree? I decided just to go on to my next question.
As a reporter I had been asking what would be considered to be "soft" questions. I decided to play hardball with the good doctor. I wanted answers to some really tough questions.
//Blev tvungen att korta ner...//
